Quotes of the Day

"Find the good. It's all around you. Find it, showcase it, and you'll start believing in it."

JESSE OWENS

TOM: What I love about this quote is the suggestion that good is all around.  All I have to do is be looking for it.  Granted there are times it is easier than others, but it is always there.  When I think of the crazy stuff that is going on in Washington, it is easy to focus on the darkness.  However, there are almost 400 million other people in the US who are doing good things, every day!! 

I know in my daily journaling, I am very intentional about highlighting 3 positive things from the day before.  Why? Because I want to ensure not a day goes by that I don’t capture the light, the positive.  And guess what, it is not hard to write them down, they come quickly!!

The part that I find challenging is to “showcase” it.  I feel like that is “preaching”, so I wait for an opening versus showcasing.  AND when I journal these daily, I do start to believe it!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when I “find the good”!

Goody Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Holy cow - I love this quote! The coolest part for me is the “showcase it” piece. That is so important, especially to help spread positivity. If I find something enlightening or empowering, chances are that others around me might feel the same way… so why not share it with other people and keep the good vibes flowing!

I do agree with you, there is often a positive spin on any given situation. I feel similarly to you that it is extremely challenging to feel hopeful when all I read about our government doesn’t make any sense to me, and instills fear. Like you said, there are still great people out there every day doing positive things! What will NOT make me feel better is sitting back, doing nothing, and feeling scared. 

I love that you write down three positive things each day! What were your three today? I love that you are shining awareness on the good things in your life, at the very start of your day!

I love you more than all of the ways we can share what brightens our days with others!

Christine Is Seeing The Light Shine

"People change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change"

TONY ROBBINS

TOM: Tony has been doing this for 40 years.  I remember listening to his tapes when we were moving to Syracuse, NY from Houston, TX.  That was a long drive and I had about six of his tapes.  This was before podcasts!!  He is similar to John Maxwell in that he breaks things down into simply processes and behaviors.

I deal a lot with getting people to change; to be curious; to look at other options; to step into the learning zone vs stay in the comfort zone; to explore whether their fears are real.  AND I have the same tendencies to not want to change.  While I believe this quote to be very true in that change is much easier when it reduces the pain, I feel like this is “running from” versus “running to”.  And when I am running from something, I tend to lose sight of the bigger goal, I am just trying to get to safety.

My challenge in life is how to not wait for the intolerable pain, but to be proactive.  To pursue the learning zone because of what it offers versus what I fear it offers – discomfort.  As my mentor use to say:  “I am not here to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable.”  He was great at showing me my fears were not real.  He would take me to traction to test any assumptions that I may have.  So, this is really not about fear either! 

It is about assumptions!  I assume I know what leaving the comfort zone will create (and yet I have not been there, only heard from others).  I rationalize that I can leave the comfort zone whenever I want, and the opportunity will always be there (and yet the learnings zone is always in motion).  I assume my comfort zone will always be comfortable and not change (and yet what makes me comfortable today, does not make me comfortable tomorrow. I have many examples of that.).  The summary of all this is that I can wait for the pain, that is sure to come at some point!  Or I can proactively pursue the learning zone on my terms and aligned with my dreams.

I love you more than all the things that come to light when I proactively venture into the learning zone!

Assumption testing Carmazzi    

CHRISTINE: Hi Pops! Hey that is a great point, a lot of your day to day is showing people HOW to change, and WHY they should change! I know I can be so resistant to change, even when I know it’s the best thing to do in that moment. Having someone motivating like you really helps keep me accountable and actually do it!! 

I love your perspective about reasons to get out of the comfort zone, for the results versus the period of discomfort. AMEN! That is such a positive and cool mindset to have. 

I also really like your assumptions, I have found that the longer I keep riding the wave of comfort (that I know isn’t the best for me), the more anxious and antsy I begin to feel… like I know I should be on a different path, yet I’m resisting the work or effort it would take to actually leave the comfort zone. Luckily enough for me, the comfort zone slowly begins to be uncomfortable, and I make the decision to change. Like you pointed out, it would be great if I didn’t have to find discomfort in order to change, but I could rationalize my way through that decision instead! 

I love you more than all of the ways we can improve ourselves and encourage others to do the same!

Christine Appreciates Her Support  

"There was one of two things I had a right to, liberty, or death; if I could not have one, I would have the other."

HARRIET TUBMAN

TOM: What I love about this quote is Harriets stand.  There was no middle ground.  It was either one or the other.  And she had a huge impact on the country! 

What was it that created that commitment in her?  I believe it was three things:  She knew what was at stake from her own experience (persecution of slavery – scar on head); she knew the magnitude of her pursuit (so many slaves); and she knew she was capable of helping.

What are those things in our lives that we can make a similar stand?  What holds us back?  I know what holds me back at times: I don’t believe I can help.  I tend to believe the problem is too big for little old me.  And most of the time, when I get in that place, I just do what I can do, where I can, and let God do the rest. 

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we do what we can do for a worthy cause.  We never know how far the ripples will travel!

Doing Daddy   

CHRISTINE: Hi pops! Wow - she seriously was committed, and fought for what was right! Like you said, there was no middle ground, and she was a great example of how we should all behave to fight for our freedom/rights! I can’t imagine the level of fear that she got comfortable with each day… or maybe how she overcame those fears, certainly through a lot of trial and error! 

This speaks a lot to her character, she would not settle for mediocracy, or for anything less than her 110%. She was either going to find success and achieve her goals or she wasn’t going to be around to see the opposite fate! I can’t imagine having that much courage! And I am fortunate that I am privileged enough to hopefully never experience what that was like. 

I agree with you in terms of what holds me back, I wonder if I would still feel the same if I just jumped in most times rather than remained on the sidelines.. hmm… tough for me to imagine right now given how crappy I feel!!

I love you more than all of the ways we can step out and help, for what we believe is right!

Christine Admires HT!

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

MARK TWAIN

TOM: Wow!  The last 5 words: “most of them never happened”!  How many times have I worried about something that never occurred!!  I honestly can’t count them all.  I have worried about presenting in front of an audience; I have worried about vacations not going well; I have worried about being late for an appointment; I have worried about my health; I have worried about ………..  And guess what ……. It NEVER happened!!

So what is with that?!  Why do I do that?  One thing I rationalize is that it ensures I am prepared for the worst.  True.  And yet, what a waste of energy!  Another could be that I lack the confidence to know all will be ok.  True for somethings.  Another could be that I have had a similar experience.  In recent history, that is not true!!! But I scare myself to believing that.  Hmmmm……….  Another could be that I feel it is all up to me; there is no one else to rely on.  Well, that is a pretty lonely perspective, that I must admit I take too often.  There are folks of this world and not of this world who are with me.  The real troubles is that I don’t ask for help.  I know there have been many times I prayed and help has arrived!  Maybe not exactly as I thought, AND it definitely helped! 

The goal is not to avoid the troubles, that I am imagining; because that is already occurring; they don’t happen.  The goal is to eliminate the fear, by knowing I am not alone!

I love you more than all that becomes possible from the energy created when we ask for help in those troubles that we “know”.

Asking for help Carmazzi 

CHRISTINE: Ha! So true, Marky!!! I agree with you - the number of hours I spend worrying about things that never come to fruition is sad! Heck, sometimes I am so worked up about a hypothetical situation I end up dreaming about it. In every instance, the dream I have (rather nightmare) is 10x worse than the actual event. There was only one situation that I can recall where the worst case scenario, that I had worried about, happened. I was helping a colleague present to a supply chain class for undergraduate students. We were hoping to talk about the importance of weaving supply chain and sustainability together. We thought it would be well received! This was a college in Portland, and most citizens in Oregon agree that sustainability is important. Well, what we did not realize, is that half of the class were international students, all wanting to bring their education back to their home country to apply it to OIL COMPANIES!! I certainly had not anticipated such an uphill battle! I’m almost positive that half of the class got nothing beneficial out of the guest lecture, but I’m hoping the other half could find something useful out of it. I look back at this scenario and laugh now - seriously, what were the chances of that happening?! 

I agree with you completely, worrying about this stuff is such a waste of energy, and emotional/mental capacity! I think in most cases, I worry because I don’t feel like I can control the outcome, and I won’t be well equipped enough to handle whatever alternative outcome is thrown my way - sounds similar to what you pointed out about confidence! 

I love your last point, too - we are not alone in these worries, I know it always helps me to vocalize them rather than internalize them!

I love you more than all of the ways we can knock down fear and focus on reality!

Christine Is Being Rational

“A change of fortune hurts a wise man no more than a change of the moon.”

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

TOM: What I love about this quote is highlights another benefit of being wise.  Usually being wise is described as someone who listens more and talks less; who share life’s experiences in context and relevant; who blends their experiences with intellect to convey a more holistic insight.  Benjie is sharing that the wise person is also better insulated against “change of fortune” than those less wise.  Hmmm………  I thought change of fortune impacts all of us equally; things like a decline in the economy; or a hurricane; or inflation; or job market; or ….  How does being wise impact those circumstances???

A wise person, because of their broader view tends to see things coming; although not sure when.  So they consider “what if’s” or options should that occur.  A wise person is usually better connected in broader relationships that help when things don’t go as planned.  They also tend to not get rattled, or overreact to a situation.  They know, whatever the occurrence, it is temporary and can be addressed.  Finally, they believe in their ability, based on past experience, and logic, to get through the current event.

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we seek wisdom as the clock ticks.

Wisdom hunter Carmazzi 

CHRISTINE: Whoa! Love the perspective about what truly makes someone wise. Like they are never too comfortable with the status quo, and they’re ready to make a pivot when needed! I think the most important thing that distinguishes wise people from the less wise is how they always anticipate a change, they stay flexible and think of all of the possible outcomes of any scenario. They don’t try to control what happens to them, they try to be prepared for all outcomes! That is good stuff! 

I still struggle with the emotion aspect of being “wise”. When something social happens to me that I didn’t anticipate, I still take things personally. That certainly is not the wise way to live life! On the other hand, being cynical and assuming someone will always betray my trust isn’t the right way to live either. I’m assuming I’ll find that balance on my journey to being more wise :)

I love you more than all of the ways we can be prepared versus attempting to control!

Christine Is Preparing

“Example, whether it be good or bad, has a powerful influence.”

GEORGE WASHINGTON

TOM: Wow!  This really gives a whole new perspective to the old adage for leaders to “lead by example” (LBE).  People are always watching.  And we think it is only those folks who say they are “people watchers”! 😊

We all watch!  Literally all of us!  Why?  To learn about life.  From early times we watched others very closely because it helped us survive – we watched for threatening motions or changes in facial expressions.  Today, not so much for protection but more for how to behave or NOT.  George is highlighting the “NOT”.  I know I was taught about LBE - the “good” piece.  AND I attempted to align my actions accordingly, when I remembered, or was in an important meeting.  But folks are watching ALL the time, not just when I want to them to watch!  Interestingly, the older I get, the more my actions are what I want them to be and yet, that is probably only 50% of the time!  Just think of Japan when I was getting all torqued out of shape about the temperature in our room!  I don’t want anyone to model that behavior!  So, I still have lots of room for improvement!!  And I USUALLY learn from experiences of that nature!

For me, the important point is the LBE cannot be an act.  It has to be who I am.  I am a life in progress, always will be.  And I want to be progressing in a positive manner.

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we model, more and more each day, what we want.

Conveying Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Such an important quote!!! I definitely can think of many times where I’ve left an example, mostly bad! I certainly regret the bad ones… Thinking back at my time of remote working, I definitely allowed certain “unspoken” emotions get the best of me - more specifically, it was easy for me to take someone’s message and think the worst. I would make things up in my head about what the persons “true” intentions were, and allow it to craft my reply back to them. Not only did I mess up there, I also went and discussed these interactions with some of my team members - perpetuating the “assumed” intention! How dumb was that! Little did I know, I was setting an example, one that I certainly wish I hadn’t. 

The “good” examples I’ve set are harder to quantify. I think those are the ones that are more habitual, and that are more engrained as part of my every day life. Relating to your piece below - I do think you have many many good LBE’s, and each time we slip up and have a bad one, we learn from it and are better equipped to move forward with the “good”!. 

I love you more than all of the good examples we set each day!

Christine Is Setting good LBEs

“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger.”

JAMES CLEAR

TOM: What I love about this quote is the awareness that all big things and impactful habits start small.  No one gets big at once, especially sustainability.  We have all heard about someone who struck it rich in the lottery and yet the evidence is that they don’t stay rich!  Also when we see someone who is very successful, chances are they did not get there all at once, it usually is the result of some discipline or habit, which started with them choosing the change the current patterns of their life.  And the cool thing is that before they know it, they have been doing it for years!!

For me, I have several habits that help me:  journaling; exercise; reading; planning; and reflection.  Not to forget the QoD’s, which have been going on for almost 5 years!!!!  Truly amazing!!

I love you more than all the small decisions that become big and sustainable over time. 

Small and growing Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Hi Pops! What a cool quote - a few things came to mind for me. The first, in my class last night, we debated whether or not CEOs need technical skills for the position they hold. My argument was that on some level, they sure do! How else would they get to the role they have, and keep it?? Others thought that they didn’t need any, but could be a good leader. I definitely think some balance is required, no matter the answer! But going back to James’s quote, it would certainly surprise me to look at all of my habits I have now, and trace them back to the very beginning stages of how they formed. Thinking of my healthy eating habits, I have no clue when they started! I remember frequently eating at fast food restaurants growing up, it must have been during high school or college when the shift occurred. 

I love your habits!! And I know they have contributed positively to your life. I am trying to establish new habits - like balancing socializing with productivity. Monday was a great start, where a friend and I had a tough work out together!

I love you more than each small actions cumulative power!

Christine Is Building Habits

“Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.”

ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

TOM: I have read this quote several times, it has a certain attraction to me.  I believe it is very true.  Albert Einstein has a similar quote about the mind that created the problem can not be the mind that fixes the problem.  Or insanity is believing something will change while using the same mindset.  What I believe makes this quote true is that folks get comfortable with their current circumstance, AND this is a common trait.  Consequently, it is the norm or the behavior of the “pack” or mediocre behavior.  So, these folks get there very logically, and the math says someone has to be the norm or the average or mediocre. 

So, what is the important point in this quote…. If you want to be uncommon, you have to seek things outside of the norm, outside of the average.  It is purely a choice.  Our recent quote about being different relates directly to this quote. 

In business, this quote relates to businesses that are of a certain size or performance level becoming stagnant.  I have found this is usually because they only know what they know, and they don’t pursue what they don’t know (Starting with, what is the current reality, candidly)!  They are not curious about what takes them “higher” than they are, nor why are they where they are. 

Thus, the moral of this quote is to be curious and keep learning whatever level you are or you will stay where you are! 

I love you more than all the becomes possible when we continue to learn and grow!

Seeking Growth Papa. 

CHRISTINE: I like your note about how this quote is saying you have to be uncommon/something different from the norm. I think this also speaks to the levels at which our current state can allow us to view our circumstances. For example, when I was a kid, I thought the world revolved around me! Each year I got more and more aware that isn’t the case. A small example is that when you and mom would have company over, I remember not liking the folks that wouldn’t talk to me much. In hind sight, why would they want to chat much with a five or six year old! They are here to talk to you! It’s small things like that, I can relate to this quote. Same with business. When I was first getting started, my view was so small, because I felt like I was treading water just to do my day to day tasks. The more familiar I got, the more I could look outside of my role and then department, etc!

I also like your point about business growth. I know that the companies you are helping certainly will no longer be stagnant! 

I love you more than all of the ways we can expand our view point for the betterment of ourselves and others!

Christine Is Panoramic

“Wisdom and goodness to the vile seem vile.”

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

TOM: What I love about this quote is the power of perspectives and receiving information.  The information I receive is the same for everybody who receives it.  The difference is in the receiver, not the content!  I know that when I am making assumptions about the person providing the information, I perceive that information differently.  For example, if I do not trust that person, then I do not trust the information and yet the information could be pure.

Also I am impacted by the mood I am in.  If I am time pressured or bothered by something, then I am not listening very well and the information will be impacted accordingly. 

So how do I ensure I received the “wisdom and goodness” as intended?  I prepare myself.  I remove all distractions; like the TV or computer or phone or busy places.  I also try to clear my head of other things on my “To do list”.  Finally, I remove all assumptions about the person providing the information.  When I can do that, I am able to listen to the best of my abilities.  AND boy is that a challenge!!!

AND here is something to ponder: If I was always ready to receive Wisdom and Goodness, how much is really out there!!!  I believe it is unimaginable!

I know during this trip I let the stuff I have going on for FCCI distract me and thus I missed some goodness and wisdom.  It happens every day!    

I love you more than all that becomes possible when I eagerly prepare for the Wisdom and Goodness provided each and every day!

Preparing Papa 

CHRISTINE: Thank you for sharing your awareness with your moments of being distracted with FCCI while on our trip! I know it can be tough to admit, and yet, as we’ve mentioned, the awareness piece is very important! We can all get distracted, I am sure that if I had a clicker counting the number of times during any given day that I got distracted, I would be amazed! 

Back to this quote, I agree with your note about the information we receive is the same, it is just dependent on how we interpret it! Like you, I can interpret things one way or the other based on my mood. I notice this in particular with texting or email communications, rather than face to face or voice! It is much harder for me to decipher someone’s intentions via text/email compared to voice. I know I am not alone in that! But the unfortunate thing is the majority of my daily communications are in text/email form. I know this was much worse while I was working remotely. I would allow my bad mood to infiltrate the tone of other peoples messages to me! That certainly was not fair to myself or those sending the messages! I am very happy about the level of communication and in-person learning I’m receiving at school. I went from having 10% of my communication a day to voice (when I was working remote), to about 90% now!

I love you more than all of the ways we can become aware of our moods and how they impact the information we receive!

Christine Is Happy

“Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.”

FRANCIS BACON

TOM: We have heard from Francis before!  He is a wise man!

What I love about this quote is that he highlights the power of hope and yet it needs to be balanced with action.  I am big believer in hope.  I also believe hope and optimism go hand in hand.  I tend to believe things will work out for the best on both a macro and micro level.  I know I get more so the longer I live.  Maybe that is because when I was younger I would overact a lot.  Though years of experience, I realize that things tend to work out for the best in the long run. 

Having said that, now back to “supper”, I have to do my part to create the favorable outcome.  I can’t just hope and sit back.  I have to “step into the arena” and be a part of bringing the hope to reality!

I love you more than all that is created when we chase our hopes. 

Hope in action papa

CHRISTINE: Wow - great analysis, and I share some similar feelings! I actually notice that when I’m alone, and only relying on myself, I focus less on hope. This might be because i realize I have to do a lot on my own to achieve my goal. In a group setting, I am more hopeful, probably to help keep morale up. But as Francis pointed out, it isn’t a strategy that can be used long term… even during the course of one day, hope can’t be the only thing we rely on!

I, like you, am beginning to realize that things work out for a reason. Even though it sucks in the present, it is almost always worth it!

I love you more than all of the benefits of balancing hope and action!

Christine Is Doing Both

"You are perfectly cast in your life. I can’t imagine anyone but you in the role. Go play."

LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA

TOM: What I love about this quote is it speaks to the fact we are all unique, which I believe to be true.  What he challenges us to do is not only know we are unique but to take advantage of our “role” and live into it!  That is really the most important point.  Be aware you/I, are here for a reason and that reason is not YOU/ME.  We have been put here for the benefit of others.  And here is the kicker: If we don’t do it; there is no one else here to fill our uniqueness.  Hmmm……  Granted there are probably many that can come close, but no one completely!  Just think about that!  I know that motivates me to “go play”!

I love more than all that becomes possible when we take our God given talents and share them with others!

Playing Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Good afternoon, pops!

What a cool quote! And something that you have spoken to previously - that we are all on this planet for a reason. We cannot be anyone else other than who we are, no matter how we try! So it is best to live into our talents and share them with others. Great point about no one else being able to live into our uniqueness! Amen brother!

I love you more than the duty we have to play our part!

Christine Isn’t Acting

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. This new day is too dear with its hopes and invitations to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

TOM: What I love about this quote is the invitation to not beat yourself up about the things you did or could have done.  Move on!!  Learn and focus on the present.  I used to spend a lot of time doing what I called “reflection” that was really self-deprecation.  I would focus on how I missed an opportunity that would never happen again; and how I should not have allowed that to happen.  Then I would spend some part of the next day in a funk that impacted that day, especially in creativity and relationships.  What I learned was that this reflection, that was supposedly making me better, was actually eroding my confidence and stopping the learning!!

Today, I am better at moving on.  Strangely I will have dreams of things of the past that will stay with me for part of the morning, that will put me in a funk.  But I am much better at shifting to the present and what God has for me in the current moment.  I know He has a plan!  I am no accident!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we capture all the wonder of today without any distractions of yesterday. 

Today Tommy

CHRISTINE: What a great quote. And awesome awareness about actions that had good intentions, but negative outcomes. The spirit of what you were trying to do, reflecting, is powerful, but you were able to tell that it wasn’t actually that, and it was having a negative impact! Ouch!

Thinking of this quote, I want to beat myself up! There are numerous days I’ve “wasted” thinking about the one prior…. I had this thought the other day in lecture - when someone has passed but we still talk about their contributions, we see the years they were alive (example: 1960-2014). how often are people still contributing greatness up until their last years?(frequently). AND, how often do they know they don’t have much time left? (Infrequently). It hit me that given how rare it is that we know how many years or months we have on this planet, we have to continue to do what we want and pursue our goals! As Ralph puts it, each day is dear!

I love you more than all of the ways we can harness today!

Christine Is Presently Present

"A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm, thoughtful, and restrained. It can afford to extend a helping hand to others."

JIMMY CARTER

TOM: This is the first time we have heard from our past president who died recently at 100 years old!

What I love about this quote is the relationship between “strong” and “helping”.  I agree completely with this relationship and I want to focus on the “person” perspective versus the “nation” since a strong nation is simply a reflection of its people.  So, what makes us “strong”? - self-care both physically and emotionally; expanding experience; recovery from failure; control over those things we can vs. those we can’t; and selflessness.  All these things are a journey or aspiration, I never really get to perfection in any of these.  Given that, when am I “strong” enough to start helping?

This is where I would add something to Jimmy’s quote.  I believe you start helping now, regardless of your place in the journey.  I believe that helping others increases your strength.  Sure, when you are stronger, you may be able to help more, however, I can always help until my last breath, even it if is simply modeling how to take that last breath.  As the saying goes:  “no better time than the present.”

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we “extend a helping hand”!

Hand-up Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Hey buddy! Wow - awesome analysis and addition! And it seems as though Jimmy was a very strong leader if he acted the way he spoke. I think the most important part of this quote (for me) is the ability to have restraint and to be gentle. When I see these traits in others, they are usually coming from strong people. They are actions that aren’t boisterous or showy, but have the most impact long term compared to the more forceful ones.

I agree with your addition, because you can gain those traits through helping others! They are not mutually exclusive. 

As we enter this new year, I am going to be more intentional about keeping these attributes at the forefront of my mind. I’d like to make my impact without being showy!

I love you more than all of our strengths, both seen and unseen!

Christine Is Quietly Growing

"We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers."

CARL SAGAN

TOM: Good morning Darling! What I love about this quote is the rigor of the dialogue.  I know too many times I just blurt common questions and give quick answers.  Usually that occurs when I am chatting with someone in “passing”.  Kinda in a hurry or focused on something else.  I know those interactions are important to show interest and let the person know you “see” them however, I do love when conversations get into more depth. 

I find when I am sharing a meal and, usually at dinner, is when the dialogues deepen and courageous questions emerge.  Especially, when we have someone over who I have not seen for a while.  Why is that?  I believe that is for a couple of reasons:  one, a lot of time has passed since our last conversation, and I want to get to the most impactful things in their life which is usually about family.  Second, is that there has been time to create the moment for the depth.  It does not happen as a surprise, it happens as a normal flow of the dialogue.  AND I have found that almost every time, the person is very forthcoming and appeared to welcome the question.  I know when someone asks me a courageous question, I love it.  It is an invitation to deepen, not only the dialogue, but the relationship!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we enter into heartfelt dialogue.

Dialogue Daddy 

CHRISTINE: Hey pops! Whoa - isn’t this good stuff. I completely agree with you- how many times have I short changed a response to someone’s questions because it’s in passing, or rushed… or on the opposite side, how many times do I NOT ask the questions I should because I feel as though it would be rushed or not the right moment. I certainly have had times on both ends of the spectrum where I don’t provide the best answer that I should have… OR I don’t give the person replying the appropriate amount of attention!

We have some close friends that no matter the time of day/occasion, they ask such thoughtful questions! And they are so much fun to be around - partially because of how curious they are. I want to spend more time with them, sometimes even whole weekends, versus some other friends where one night a month is sufficient. The older I get, the more I appreciate those deep questions, and someone who will listen to my replies!

One of my favorite new questions when someone tells me a story about their childhood, is “what was that like for you”. It usually allows people to give shallow answers if they don’t want to go deep, but it also allows them to go even deeper if they’d like! It’s worked out well so far!

I love you more than all of the ways we can show each other respect with a listening ear!

Christine Has Dumbo Ears

"Just knowing you don't have the answers is a recipe for humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and an eagerness to learn—and those are all good things."

DICK VAN DYKE

TOM: This quote has a lot for impact for me because is has so much in it.  As stated, I believe it to be very true and when I break it down it becomes even more powerful.  Let me say more…….  Just knowing I do not have all the answers DOES INVITE humility AND COULD lead to openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and eagerness to learn.  Where this quote “goes off the rails” is when we/I CHOOSE to not admit we/I don’t have all the answers.  We/I put up the persona that we/I know it all.  I know that is the case for me.  Early in my career, I felt if I didn’t know the answer it was a sign of weakness.  So, I missed countless opportunities to display humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and the learning.  I can’t comprehend, how much I could have captured, if I allowed my internal knowing of the gap to be conveyed externally. 

So why do we not admit we don’t have the answers????  I believe it is different for each of us, but for me it is really about not showing weakness.  As I get older, I realize what is lost by not admitting I don’t know.  So, I am getting better at it.  I must admit, I still don’t like it when I don’t, especially in areas I feel I should.  But that’s ok when I capture the learning presented!

I love you more than all that becomes available when we are vulnerable about our current state!

Aware of Gaps Carmazzi 

CHRISTINE: Goodness gracious! I can really connect with your point about not being comfortable with not knowing something that you feel like you should. I certainly can relate there! And, I agree with you that this quote breaks down when the answer to something that we don’t know isn’t anything other than “I don’t know”. I have been caught in this many times - saying an answer that I think I know is right, but turns out to be wrong. Even when I knew I wasn’t 100% certain, I still submitted a response and was comfortable with it. In many instances that turned out to be the wrong answer, and I should have just said “I don’t know”. My fear, then, was that if I didn’t know, I’d lose my place in the conversation. What ended up happening was I lost it anyway because I was careless about my reply. I probably would have kept it if I was just honest! Funny how that works. 

It’s enjoyable furthering my education, a lot of my replies these days are “I don’t know”, which is a good thing, because I’m there to learn!

I love you more than all of the ways our responses can be framed to allow us to be open and receptive for new learnings!

Christine Is Wanting To Learn

"Fear of life closes off more opportunities for us than fear of death ever does."

AGNES MOOREHEAD

TOM: Good morning Darling!  TGIF. This is a remarkable quote!  I love her comparison of life to death in the context of fear.  I believe she is highlighting that people fear more things while living than they do of the very predictable death, and its outcome.  I had never put the two together, however I do believe she is accurate.  It is well documented that folks who are certain to pass very shortly regret things about their life.  It is rarely that they wished they would have worked one more day.  It is usually something about relationships and family.  And there is not much talk about fear of death itself. 

We have talked about the limitations of fear before and Agnes puts it in comparison to what is commonly believed to be the biggest fear of all.  Wow!  So why do we let fear take up so much of our joy????  I know, that much of my fear is not true.  How do I know?  Because it is usually based on an event: a speech; a facilitation; a family meeting; etc.  and guess what…. Those events happen and what I feared did NOT (ever happen to you?).  And yet I wasted all that energy and all those opportunities to apply that head and heart someplace else!!  Crazy!!  I am getting better at capturing those opportunities, but they still happen.  I have one going on right know about an event I am hosting in March.  I love a challenge!!

I love you more than all the becomes possible when I put fear in its rightful place – real survival situations!

Dissipating fear Carmazzi   

CHRISTINE: Hey poppy! Whoa - this quote seems to be connected to some of the book we’re reading! Very cool. I definitely have similar experiences to you - I sometimes say no to things because I’m scared. More recently, it’s been with mountain biking. I’m afraid I’ll fall and hurt myself. I had a really rewarding ride the other week where I pushed myself. Sure, I fell, but I didn’t get hurt. Instead of being hurt, I noticed my ability skyrocketed because I took risks versus just staying in the safe zone. It allowed me to gain confidence and explore my abilities! Pretty cool!

Same goes for these conversations I’m having with some folks to network. I’m afraid to start them because I worry that they won’t want to talk to me, or they will get bored, or.. the list goes on! However every one that I’ve talked to has been wonderful. I’m so glad I stepped in and had those conversations!

I am so proud of you for saying yes to facilitate and plan this big event in March. You will do SO well at it - you plan, rehearse, and know plenty of people to help make it excellent! I know there are fears and nerves now - but knowing you, you’ll find ways to push through and you’ll probably start planning your next one right after!!!

I love you more than all of the ways we can push fear aside and enjoy the ride!

Christine Isn’t Afraid

"It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result."

MAHATMA GANDHI

TOM: He truly was a wise man!!

What I love about this quote is the spirit of action over words.  And not only action but having that action be the “right thing”.  What an amazing combination to impact change.  You have to have both!  I can be thinking about the right things, but not act or I can be taking action, but not doing the right things.  In both cases the impact is very minimal.  In the latter case, I could argue that it is negative!

Then he goes for the “trifecta”: don’t do it for recognition; do it because it will have an impact at some point, maybe even after the person who did the act is gone.  Wow!  Selfless, virtuous, action – sounds like a good way to live!  I know early in my career, I took action; and believed it was doing the right thing, but I was doing it for recognition.  Today, I am very content to just be “planting seeds” that may not grow until many years later, maybe after I am gone.  But I still plant them – it feels good!!

I love you more than all the becomes possible when are selfless and virtuous in our actions.  AND have a wise balance between words and actions.

Planting seeds Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: How cool! I love your perspective, and it also made me think about protecting our environment. Our small actions that we can do to better our planet will not “bare fruit” in our life time, but generations after us will surely appreciate and benefit! We don’t do it to help ourselves, we do it for others - many of which we will never meet.

This also made me think of the quote that’s regarding behavior while no one else is watching. We all know what to do, or what’s best, but we might not perpetuate that activity unless someone else is watching. There are many of us who do the right thing, regardless of who is around or watching!

I love you more than all of the ways we can make an impact that will outlive us!

Christine Is Thinking In The Future

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

ALBERT EINSTEIN

TOM: Albert is at it again!!

I find this to be true on many fronts in the context of growth.  For me to grow, I have to keep moving into new experiences; readying new stuff; and entering in to new relationships.  There is also the part of movement that helps keep us healthy.  As I age, I realize that sitting is not healthy, I need to be moving throughout the day.  Sure, I exercise at least 5 days a week, but after I exercise, I usually sit in front of my computer, or I am on the phone.  I love doing that stuff, but I want to be healthy physically!  So, I need to keep “peddling”.

I would add a phrase to this quote: “and be aware of the pace that you are moving, to ensure you do not miss the beauty of life”.  I know I can move very fast, and completely miss the beauty of the moment.  I have countless examples of this through my life.  As I have matured, I am more aware, and yet………

I love you more than all that becomes available when we move in concert with the environment around us.

Peddling Papa

CHRISTINE: Hi poppy! Wow! I love your connection to this quote. I agree with you - and is taking about continuous improvement and growth, but he’s also talking about balance! I know you are thinking that your behaviors after you exercise aren’t healthy, but they sure do allow you to refrain from injury or serious fatigue/burn out!! For me, it’s been challenging to sit in a car 4 days a week, most of

The time for an hour and a half total. I really wish I could walk, bike, or run during that time! I recognize that sitting isn’t healthy, so I find ways to increase my walks to and from the car after I park. Even a little bit of extra movement can make a difference!

Great addition about the pace - we’ve talked about this a few times, it’s always a personal challenge for me to stay present. I’m somewhat progress and goal driven, and my sights are set on the finish line, not the journey. For example, cam and I go hiking often. On the downhill/return, I walk rather quickly, I look down, and I’m not as chatty! Cam has commented on how I pretend the hike is already over when it’s only half way done! It’s something that I am grateful he made me aware of. I’m missing out on half of the journey that way!

I love you more than all of the ways we can appreciate the whole journey, versus just the destination!

Christine Is On A Journey

"Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head."

ANDY ROONEY

TOM: I loved to listen to Andy at the end of 60 minutes.  He had a very practical perspective on the weeks events.  And he would make light of stuff other thought to very serious. 

What I love about this quote is it reminds me of a phrase from our Compass at Tuthill.  “Heart, Head, Hands.”  The spirit of that phrase was that it all starts with the heart, then engage the brain, and then get something done.  If it doesn’t get to action at traction, what value is it.

I think we are losing generations of folks who “work with their hands”.  A lot of the skilled trades are declining in people.  As the folks in Washington talk about bringing back manufacturing to the US, our workforce is no longer as big and capable as it was when the outsourcing started.  Crouse-Hinds is now about 300 manufacturing people.  When I was there it was over 3,000.  Tragic!

Another version of “diversity” is that of skill sets and perspectives.  With out this diversity, a community or country will not flourish!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we use all the “tools” we were given!

Handy Tom 

CHRISTINE: Hey pops! Wow this is so true, and so relevant as a lot of industries begin to use AI, or continue to have machines replace humans! There’s a lot of reward when we work with our hands, and when we own items made my people, not robots! I recently bought some furniture, it was made in the USA, and the people who built it actually applied their signature to it - that is so much more meaningful to me than if it was made in a factory with robots. 

I think there is a wave of technology coming that will continue to replace human jobs. However, I see there being a tipping point within the next decade, after we all realize the negatives out weigh the positives!

I love you more than all of the ways we can appreciate the power of being human!

Christine Is Using Her Two Hands

“Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to.'”

LAO TZU

TOM: Lao Tzu is a semi-legendary ancient Chinese philosopher and author of the Tao Te Ching, the foundational text of Taoism along with the Zhuangzi.  He lived in 500 BC!

What I love about this quote is that suggest that time is within our control versus being a victim of time.  I know there have been times that I wished I had more time; times when I felt it was working against me; that it was unwavering in its passing; that it was the cause of many choices that I made in haste; and that sooner or later it would run out for me. 

And LT is saying, although time is fixed it is YOUR time to do as you wish.  Yes, you do not get minutes back, but you do get to choose how you spend them.  That is the beauty of time; it allows you to choose AND it calls you forth to choose well.  I know when I was younger the “clock” ticking was very faint.  I only heard it at work when there was a goal to be met or a shipment to be made.  I heard many, many times to “enjoy these years with your children because they pass so quickly”.  In the moment, I did not listen, I felt you would be around forever!  And today, boy were those people right!

As time has passed for me, what it has done is helped me focus even more, to make even better choices.  I do not view time as the villain, I view it as a gift to be used for me and others.  AND to be lived vs. survived!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we capture the moment.

Timely Tommy  

CHRISTINE: Hey pops!

I must admit - this day is quite hard for me. I am having a tough time rationalizing the results of the election, and it’s made me feel less hopeful about humanity! This QOD is a nice constant, where I feel more hopeful afterwards, every time!

Whoa - that’s quite the quote, from so long ago! Did they even have clocks!?!

I agree with this - time is fixed for everyone, and we always are at choice with how we spend it! It comes down to priorities, what is important to make time for, and what are things we can be ok to miss out on?

Every day light savings is so eye opening for me. Since we gained an extra hour this past weekend, I’m waking up an hour earlier and feel as though I am quite productive compared to last week! Funny how just one hour shift in sleep time can have such a big impact.

I agree with you that the tick of time is faint right now- I was just thinking the other night, that these are my “glory days”, even if I don’t think of them as such. Same with my college years, I had minimal responsibility, yet yearned to be where I am now. My life is wonderful now, but I wish I took a breath and appreciated those four years. Funny how the grass is always greener! Same for highschool, I wish I could spend as much time with you NOW, as I did then!

I love your note about time - it’s an asset, as long as you harness it correctly. Seems like you are doing just that!

I love you more than all of the fond memories we have together, and the more that will come!

Christine Is Keeping Time

TOM: Darling, I just read the first sentence I will read the rest in a little while.

Let me share the perspective I have:

Our country has amazing leaders and yet they were not on the ballot.  Neither choice was a reflection of the leaders we have in the US.  This is not about democrats and republicans, it is about leadership!

Trump will be gone for good in 4 years.  Even though he is a nut, he tends to hire good people.  And one of those may be the next good leader for the US.

This will wake up the Democratic party to be more towards the center for the good of the country versus the benefit of a few.

I did like his first comments about America versus any negative comments about a party or someone.

Fortunately our forefathers created a system that can sustain any incapable president for a period of time. 

I do believe we will survive this and have a much better choices in 2028.  Don’t get discouraged, we have come through much more challenging times.

Xoxo

Daddio  

CHRISTINE: Thank you, dad. You make a lot of good points about our country being able to withstand any one president, and I am hopeful that one day we will have a good leader in power. 

My concern comes from a few things, very few of which are policy based:

- He is showing the people of America that not only is it OK to be a convicted felon, a rapist, a racist (the KKK openly stated they support Trump), and a liar, and people with those accomplishments can also hold the most important position in the entire world. 

-He is openly spreading hate for minority groups in the US (Trump ads were played on tv this past week, where he stated “Kamala supports They/them (talking about transgender people), while Donald Trump supports YOU”. This language is disgusting and encourages others to behave the same way. 

- His lies have led the American population to believe that he will reduce inflation/prices, when his plan will actually do the opposite. 

-All of these things have an impact on our countries people. The more behavior that is tolerated from him, the more that will become the norm for our population. While he won’t be able to change THAT much in terms of policy, he is encouraging people in our country to behave as he does, therefore shaping the future of our country from the people all the way to the capital. 

He was betting on the fact that the majority of the American population is not educated on economic or political policy - that they receive their news from online algorithms that feed them lies and what they want to believe/hear. The education piece has been proven with the percentage of un-educated voters that support Trump. Unfortunately, he won that bet. 

We need to educate our people - instead of having our brains rot on social media!

Xoxoxoxox 4 ever!

TOM: Christine:

I love your critical thought and values displayed in this reply.  One more consoling thing for me.  If either side put up even a good capable leader, not great just good, they would have won.  This race was an anomaly where two folks who should not have been running were.  Fortunately, very rarely does that happen.  And I do not believe it will happen again in my life-time.

Do you read Peggy Noonan’s column in the WSJ.  It is posted every Saturday.  She worked for Reagan.  She is very down to earth, values based.  I always look forward to reading her column.  It provides sanity when I need it.

You might consider reading it once a week to strengthen your hope.  I know it helps mine. 

Love you darling! 

Daddio 

“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

J.R.R. TOLKIEN

TOM: We have heard from JRR before.  I love this perspective!  It is so easy to focus on the “many dark places”; especially with our current media and the state of the election.  AND yet, there is so much goodness in the world that is not mentioned.  I wonder if there were a website or paper that only conveyed positive events how it would sell?  I believe it would be “priceless”. 

It is so important that we know there is much goodness in the world.  Otherwise we make different choices.  We think about protecting versus expanding; we think about isolation versus integration; and we think with fear versus thoughts of hope.  Last night driving home we were listening to the Michael Jackson album and he has that song about change.  It all starts with the “man in the mirror”.  That is so true.  It all starts with me.  Simple things like letting someone move over into my lane when they turn on their blinker versus speeding up!  Or saying “hi”.  Or simply starting a conversation!  All contribute to “much that is fair” and helps “love grow even greater”.

I love you more than all the fairness and love that is occurring in plain sight!

Walking towards the light Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Hi poppy!! Wow - what a relevant quote. I was reading an article just the other day that Americans are more scared, in general, than ever before. That sure speaks volumes to the information we are given, and what sells… bad news! I love that you and mom were diving deeper with MJ, change can’t happen anywhere else if it doesn’t happen with you, first! As we’ve been reading, our internal reality is what becomes our external reality. So if we are scared, we’ll portray that externally, and it’ll shape our decisions and relationships! I’m certainly not interested in perpetuating fear!

I love you more than all of the ways we can promote happiness and change, when we start within!

Christine Is Happy

“Procrastination is one of the most common causes of failure. ‘Old Man Procrastination’ stands within the shadow of every human being, waiting his opportunity to spoil one’ s chances of success. Most of us go through life as failures, because we are waiting for the ‘time to be right’ to start doing something worthwhile.”

NAPOLEON HILL

TOM: We have heard from Napoleon before.  He is a famous self-help author.

I know we have discussed procrastination before. What I love in this quote is the identification of a root cause: Time to be right.  I must admit there is wisdom to knowing the “right” timing AND yet, sooner is better.  I have found when I WAIT to know more, I usually know enough.  What I am lacking is the commitment to make the choice.  And this implies two things for me: one is I believe there are other choices; two I lack the confidence and/or courage to address the outcome, regardless of what it is. 

Regarding “are there other choices”.  You know I am a fan of creating a decision matrix.  The spirit of this matrix is to review the various choices in a logical manner.  It works wonders AND when it doesn’t it is usually because of the second reason above “confidence or courage”.  My pearl from this quote: it is not about the choice, it really is about how I executed the choice.  Did I really apply myself???  The choice will not turn out exactly as planned; however, the outcome or goal can still occur if I fully commit to figuring it out!

I love you more than what becomes possible when I fully apply my Heart, Head, and Hands, in a timely manner to the opportunities before me.

Choosy Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Hey pops! This quote is rather perplexing (big word!). I do agree with the last portion of it - failure exists because we push off the right moment for too long, or engage in self doubt, or are too distracted. However, I do think some forms of procrastination can be beneficial. I dont really consider myself to be a procrastinator, for example, I submitted an essay this morning that isn’t due until mid November. Why? Because I feel as though that looming deadline is stopping me from focusing on other important things. But another example of how I do procrastinate is yesterday, instead of spending a ton of hours studying, I cleaned the apartment and took my car in for an oil change. These tasks I completed while “procrastinating” studying were still productive, and my rationalization makes me believe that I wouldn’t have been able to fully focus on studying if I had those other chores looming over head. Maybe that is my version of “Old Man Procrastination”!

I love you more than all of the ways we can prioritize the right things to be ready for the big opportunities life presents!

Christine Has Her Own Old Man Procrastinator 

"You can't make good decisions unless you have good information and can separate facts from opinion and speculation."

COLIN POWELL

TOM: Colin Powell was an American statesman, diplomat, and army officer who was the 65th United States secretary of state from 2001 to 2005. He was the first African-American to hold the office.  He was born in Harlem. Great example of: it is not about where you start; it is about where you finish!  

I am a big Colin Powell fan.  He was a very common sense guy who got things done.  He was asked to run for President and declined for his family.  Another of his quotes that I loved:  I would rather have a “B” Plan and an “A” execution; than an “A” Plan and a “B” execution.  He was all about excellence in execution.

This quote is so true.  Any decision or choice is only as good as the information on which it is based.  I believe this is one of my strengths and I also know I used to really hack off people.  I was really big on who I would ask for advice.  I asked those people who were literate in the arena that I had to make the choice.  It didn’t matter their position in the organization, or their education, or our friendship.  I would ask folks running machines about factory stuff; not the supervisor; not the plant manager; not the business manager.  I would ask folks who had worked their way up the ladder to run a company about strategic issues on an acquisition; not the consultants; not the very smart hi potential employees, who were new to the arena; not the CEO who had spent little time on the “ladder”.  One of my last big choices at Tuthill, I only included 3 people in the choice.  I did not include 5 people who were on my staff.  They got really upset and even went as far to complain to Jay. 

Recently, I have been doing Voice of the Customers at a roofing company in Atlanta.  For the simple reason, I want to learn directly for the customer; not from a sales person who thinks he knows what the customer wants; or from some biased survey; or from some generic article in the WSJ.

AND you can seek too much data.  At some point you have all you need.  Sure, you could seek additional info, but more than likely that additional information is going to be confirming versus new.  When you are at that point, all that is required is courage, to make your choice.

I love you more than all that becomes possible with unbiased, accurate information.

Choosy Carmazzi 

CHRISTINE: I love how this quote connects to what you are doing in Atlanta, and you’re right. On one hand, we will never have enough information to truly make the desired outcome in a situation certain, but there will be a threshold where we will have ENOUGH to make the best possible decision. That was brave of you to include only the relevant team members at Tuthill - it makes a lot of sense, and those people who were not chosen were probably upset that you didn’t see something in them to want to include them. I’m sure after they had a moment to calm down, they saw that as an opportunity to improve, versus an insult. That certainly is an invitation for them to get better, I hope they eventually saw it that way! 

It is getting increasingly more difficult to see the difference between facts/opinion/speculation. I think this is particularly true because the “leaders” of our company are spewing lies, and misusing their power to spread misinformation. When we have the leaders of our country lying, where are we supposed to find truth? I’m fortunate that NPR, the NYT, and WSJ exist to give us some accurate reporting on what is going on in the world. I can easily see how it would be impossible to NOT believe those lies if I did not seek alternative sources. 

In my every day life, I try to make decisions based on fact vs emotion/opinion. This has been a huge area of growth for me, as instinctually, I am a very emotionally charged person, and I often react emotionally versus factually. Life is grand for giving me many opportunities to try and try again!

I love you more than all of the ways we can remain calm and look at the facts to make the best decisions!

Christine Is a Fact Finder!

“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”

ALDOUS HUXLEY

TOM: Wow!  This quote really hit home.  I take so much for granted!  It is hard to think what I don’t take for granted!!  Let me see if I can create a top 10:

-There will be a tomorrow

-My health will always be good

-My family will always be available

-God will always forgive me

-Friends will always be around

-My investments will always grow over the long term

-Current skills will always be in demand

-Food will always be available

-Water will always be available

-The USA will always be a great place to live

I just typed these in a flow.  No thinking just typing.  AND I am not certain what I would add.  How about you?

I know that every time I attend a funeral, I am reminded how lucky I am regarding my health.  Or every time we are together and I leave, how special time with you is.  Or every time I come back to the US, how lucky I am to hear the customs agent say “welcome home”. 

What do I take these things for granted?  Conditioning?  Since they keep happening, I believe they will always happen?  Because I am blessed, I believe I will always be blessed?  Because I don’t want to consider the alternative?  Whatever it is that has me take things for granted, I love it when I realize I am.  My appreciation grows immensely.  Usually not for long, but for the moment, it sure feels good to realize how lucky I am!  Especially if I am whining about something!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when I see the blessings I have in my life.

Appreciative Papa

CHRISTINE: This is such a true quote! You made a great list. Here’s mine:

-our time at Christmas together, especially our memories/fun times, but also your big Christmas tree in the front room

-my friendships

-my ability to work out/ be active

-my ability to be free

-my loved ones

-my access to water

-bring able to vote 

I’m sure if I sat down and thought deeper, I’d have a twenty page essay about all of the things that I take for granted! 

I have similar feelings to you in regards to funerals. They make me feel so sad, but they are a great reminder to continue to live life to the fullest and be with those you love! I have so much compassion for the folks that lose their family members or loved ones so suddenly. I cannot imagine. 

I love you more than all of the ways we can continue to live our lives and appreciate what we have! 

Christine Is Very Blessed

“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”

ART WILLIAMS

TOM: What I love about this quote is the honesty.  Things of value take efforts and many times are hard, but boy is it worth it!!  From a daily work out to life choices.  I can’t think of any thing of significant value that has not taken perseverance.  The bigger the possibility the more perseverance.  And guess what, as you start seeing progress it fuels the effort.  I know with skiing, the more I challenge myself and the more I ski the better I get.  And the better I want to become.  Currently, I am realizing I am out of shape, proven recently by playing tennis, I have no stamina.  Guess what?  It is not going to be easy, but I know it will be worth it. 

Lastly, for me, this applies to relationships.  I have had several challenging relationships that it would have been easy to leave and yet because I stayed, I have been rewarded: it was worth it!  AND, I have had those, that it was best to depart because the effort was not worth the “return”.  The challenge for me has been to know the difference.  Aligned values seems to be the fuel to continue the pursuit!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when I persevere through the challenges.

Challenging Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: This is good stuff!! It reminds me of a Nike ad I saw recently. I’m not a Nike fan, but they do have motivating ads for athletes. The spirit of the ad was that progress is uncomfortable. No one gets better by taking the easy path. It’s those who are able to continue to push through the discomfort and pain are the ones that are rewarded! Some days it is easier to live in to that than others!

I agree with you on the relationships side of things. It’s so true! Knowing when to keep giving, and when to stop is tricky. Eventually those that we continue to give into, if they aren’t worth it, we’ll find out sooner rather than later.

I love you more than all of the benefits of sticking with it!

Christine Is Sticky

“A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.”

HELEN KELLER

TOM: I have six quotes waiting to be used. Interestingly, three of those deal with adversity.  I wonder if that is due to my feelings about it or if more and more quotes are addressing adversity!!  Hmmm……

Helen knew hardships and she was amazing in dealing with them.  There was a study done years ago about the 500 greatest leaders of all time and what were common attributes.  Two common attributes were that they were thrust into leadership roles, meaning that they felt they had no choice and the other was a challenging life prior to that time.  That is not to say if you have had a cushy life you will never be a leader, it simply implies that challenges, in the arena, help us be prepared for further challenges.  As a side note, I believe that social media, presents superficial challenges, outside of the arena, that appear to be real.  I hope I am wrong.    

I know that I did not have financial challenges as a kid.  I did have stuttering and dealt with wide ranging behavior from my mother.  I know at the time, I was very upset with my conditions and yet today, I would not change a thing.  I was blessed to have both in my life.  AND I have other challenging moments in my life, each one, at the time, I did not appreciate, what it was preparing me for.  Yet, today, I would not change a thing, because in each situation, I have grown as a result.  Heavens think of my Achillies Tendon injury, I was having a blast skiing with you and about to have even more fun heli skiing and suddenly it ended.  Sure, I was hacked off, and I know that injury has impacted my right calf for the rest of my life, but I also know, that injury was a blessing for my patience and appreciation of family time. 

I love you more than all that gets created when we accept adversity for the learning that it presents, and capture the growth it provides. 

Challenge seeking Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Wow - I did not know that data point you provided about the most influential leaders. That makes a lot of sense, yet is not obvious. I think a lot of us rise to the occasion when presented, many people have the “fight” versus “flight” response to stressful situations. Those that do, tend to be leaders! 

Helen is the perfect example of someone who has mastered hardships. The more hardships I endure, the better I am at navigating the next, even if they are not similar. And, I’ve realized that often times I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to resolving hardships- I play victim, or begin to think the worst case scenario that often keeps me up at night and is not productive. I’m getting better at rationalizing the most probable scenario!

You sure are amazing for all that YOU have overcame in life! I’m grateful for that!

I love you more than all of the ways we can rise up when we are down!

Christine Is Overcoming Obstacles

“It’s important to think things through, but many use thinking as a means of avoiding action.”

ROBERT HERJAVEK

TOM: This is a great quote that highlights the balance between discernment and action.  Too much thinking and “your moment” may pass.  Too much action without thought and you may have much less impact than intended.  I know in my career, I have done both of these.  I have thought too much when it came to making big financial decisions.  I would “run the numbers” so many different ways all the while the clock was ticking and possible returns were being lost. 

Then there have been times that I just moved and did things.  Fortunately, this is becoming less and less, but I will still do it periodically while facilitating.  This happened just last week, when one of the company employees said something that was not aligned with where I was going and I quickly cut her off.  I was right in keeping us focused but I was wrong in how I did it.  I did not think about the impact of my method.  I apologized to her and yet I know it had to have left a mark. 

There is another piece of this quote that I believe is important.  In the context of thinking things through, I believe folks will read lots of books, or get several coaches, all time hoping to find the “silver bullet”: that one answer that solves all the challenging problems.  I have never found that to be true.  Reading, coaching, studying all have to be in context of the goal. I am very intentional about books I read.  I want to apply what I read very quickly, many times before the book is finished.  Same with coaching, it has to be applied in my daily life to help me grow.

I love you more than all that becomes possible when I combine my thinking and taking action in the manner that has the best impact quickly.

Thoughtful action papa  

CHRISTINE: Sheesh! Robert is on point with this quote. I think something similar is expecting to become an expert through school alone versus experience. There is only so much learning that can take place with lectures and textbooks. It is ok to get out there and ACT! 

"A good home must be made, not bought."

JOYCE MAYNARD

TOM: Wow, what a powerful quote.  And when she says “made” she is not talking about the physical construction!!

Several times, I have had the opportunity to walk into someone’s house and sense it was a house; simply a structure providing shelter.  And they have been very nice and I have commented on how lovely their house is.  There have also been times I have walked into someone’s house and felt the sense of a home.  In those times I have commented on how wonderful a home they have.  Maybe even saying something like: “this is a great home”. 

So what is different?  A house feels more sterile; more of a show piece; not lived in; simply used.  A home has a sense of play, fun, scratches, wear marks, comfortable living areas, and a sense of relationship.  A home has a fridge with “rules” on it 😊.   I know your mother and I have been very intentional with creating a home and I am happy with what we have “made”; granted our living room lays dormant until Christmas when it comes alive for 1 month!

I love you more than all the love that becomes possible in a home.

Homey Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Hey Georgian poppy! I love that you mentioned the “museum”! It truly is such a beloved place for me - because of exactly what you mentioned. It is the perfect Christmas room - and it makes the holidays feel even more special. I always love being home for Christmas!

"Within the character of the citizen, lies the welfare of the nation."

CICERO

TOM: What I love about this quote is the belief that a country is simply a reflection of its citizens.  I know a lot of times I forget that and focus just on the behavior of a country but a country really does not have a behavior.  It is simply a reflection of its leadership which was created or voted in by its people.  For me this is very similar to a house.  A house is simply a structure, but what goes on inside that makes it a home. 

When I think of the USA, the character of our leaders is lacking.  As much as I believe it will turn around soon, it seems to continue.  The wonderful leaders who reside in this country are standing on the sidelines.  Why I am not sure, but we need them.  What I do know is what I can do and then choose to do it.  I will never know my complete impact of these efforts, but God does, and I trust his hands in the long-term outcome of our country.

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we do our part, for the good of all, as citizens.

Character based Citizen

CHRISTINE: Man, this quote sure is great! Living in America, we are taught at a young age (I believe as early as Kindergarten), to respect the flag, and to memorize the pledge of allegiance. Thinking back on my days in school, it was rather crazy that every single morning, the loud speakers would play the pledge of allegiance and we would all stand and respect that time. I wonder if schools are still doing that… AND, I wonder how to get more involvement from the students versus just having it be a forced act. Something that I believe contributed to the citizens of America losing its way, is the fact that politicians are no longer honest - nor held accountable. Since America’s citizens are seeing that our leaders can get away with almost anything, it is encouraging others to do the same. As goes with spreading hate. Americans that like Donald Trump are watching him spread hate every day, and, I’m assuming, are allowing similar behaviors amongst our citizens to do the same. 

Getting back to our discussion on a similar quote, I think in order to fix the welfare of our nation, we need to be kind to our neighbors, and get back to communicating face to face versus social media!

I love you more than all of the potential that lies with the future of America!

Christine Is Being Respectful and Hopeful

“No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it.”

ANDREW CARNEGIE

TOM: This is an amazing quote coming from someone like Carnegie.  The folks of his time started from nothing and built amazing businesses that were the foundation of America’s industrial strength, that helped us to do many things; provide income to many families AND helped us win WW II.  Unfortunately, many of these folks of that time, stayed too close to the business and wanted to do it all themselves and those businesses perished.  We still see this today with entrepreneurs.  I see it with the small privately held companies where the owner will not step back.  I was listening to a podcast a couple of weeks ago where the speaker said: “you can have control or growth, but not both”!

This quote speaks to me about the difference between managers and leaders.  Managers are close to traction and focus on execution.  They see figures more than faces.  The leader is more concerned about the direction than how that direction is accomplished.  He/she allows the team to figure that out. 

So how do you know if you are a leader/manager doing too much?  When I was not a very good leader, I was getting lots of phone calls; lots of emails; lots of texts.  I was involved in lots of meetings.  I traveled a lot to “fix” things.  I thought that was what I was supposed to do, and it felt good for my ego.  Then I realized that was all about me and not the business.  As I started to step back and allow others to grow, much of that communication stopped.  I got scared that I was of no value.  Fortunately, my boss, was very pleased, that now I could focus on the stuff he was paying me for!!!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we create space for others to grow, including ourselves.

Spacey Papa 

CHRISTINE: I love this quote! I have definitely experienced “leaders” like this in my past… and, they are still at the forefront of my memory, not for good reason!!! 

This is definitely an easy trap to fall in to. Sometimes I think it is company culture based, like the company is cultivating a fear based or toxic culture that encourages leaders to showboat. But I also think this can be ego driven from the individual as well. An efficient company doesn’t boast about how efficient they are, or call out every single individual who has done the work, they all work towards the same goal and when done right, they all take ownership/want to recognize the entire team versus individuals. 

My last few months at Wyld, it was definitely tempting to fall into this pattern, but I realized that the best path forward was to train those around me to elevate them, versus leaving a massive hole after I was gone. I know I did the right thing!

I love you more than all of the ways we can quietly lead!

Christine Is Allowing Room For Others

"Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening."

GROUCHO MARX

TOM: "Groucho" Marx was an American comedian, actor, writer, and singer who performed in films and vaudeville on television, radio, and the stage. He was a master of quick wit and is considered one of America's greatest comedians. 

This is an amazing awareness from a person who would wisecrack everyone’s comments.  He had a gift for it.  And it was hilarious!!  Sounds like his performances leaked into his personal life!

What I love about this quote is he highlights the power of listening; really listening.  When people are talking what am I doing?  Am I leaning in or away; am I capturing each word or am in thinking how to share my story; am I curious about some of their words and eager to explore further; am I oblivious to all activities around me or am I distracted by the “noise”; am I watching the body language to learn more or am I thinking about mine?  These are just a few of the things I think about when I am trying to be a good listener. 

As much as I love the sense of community and fellowship of large social gatherings, they hinder my listening.  The smaller the group, the better I listen.  I do feel a sense of “Topping” going on around me and I know there have been times that I was eager to participate and was glad when the opportunity presented itself.  I am better today.  I am intentional about getting people off to the side, in a large gathering.  I am better at staying focused on the person speaking when someone else approaches.  What I love about being a better listener is that it conveys the speaker is important.  AND I believe too many times, folks don’t realize that!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when I stay at the level of the speaker with no interest in going higher!

Face to face father. 

CHRISTINE: Hi Pops!

I completely agree about the difficulty of listening/staying present in larger gatherings! AND, I completely agree with Groucho! I, like Groucho, have had a similar trajectory with “topping”. I used to do this, especially in college, when I was trying to make friends or even prove my existence! I felt like in order to be heard, I had to be the loudest or talk the most. BOY that is so wrong! 

Back to the challenges that a group setting can pose - I love that you are intentional about pulling people off to the side! I like to do this as well. There are few times that it does not go as planned, for example, during Cam’s HS Reunion, I tried this a few times. Sometimes I was successful, but others, there were too many distractions for folks + people that they might not have seen for a decade, where I became the small fry! I learned to not take this personally, and to try again if the opportunity presented itself later on. 

Something that I also like to practice in larger settings, is if someone gets cut off from conversation, I always try to bring it back to them, if they had more to say! I definitely think that this has strengthened friendships. 

I love you more than all of the ways we can show our appreciation for others if we just listen!

Christine Has Big Ears

“We have made at least a start in discovering the meaning in human life when we plant shade trees under which we know full well we will never sit.”

ELTON TRUEBLOOD

TOM: Elton Trueblood was a noted 20th-century American Quaker author and theologian, former chaplain both to Harvard and Stanford universities.  This is our first time hearing from Elton and he is going deep!!

What I love about this quote is his calling forth to give back.  Not only does he suggest it is important, but that it is the “meaning in human life”.  We were created to give to others.  As many times as I have heard that, said that, and read that, it is still valuable to hear it again!!  Unfortunately, as a society it seems like we are going the other way; all about me versus we.  No community can survive with a me first perspective.

It is also interesting that he chose: “shade trees”.  Hmmm……..  Trees last for generations, so they are not a “one and done”.  They also provide so much more than shade, for example: a home for birds; oxygen for the earth; and a root system to stabilize the ground.  They provide a compounding impact. 

In summary, Elton highlights that we are here for future generations, so live ours with that in our hearts!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we focus beyond me.

Future Father

CHRISTINE: It’s me, again!!! TGIF!!

You and Elton really went deep here, thank you!!! Also, what a cool last name! I must admit there is a lot of joy that I get from giving back! Yet - I don’t seem to pursue it as often as I should. One of my favorite parts of being a Girl Scout was all of the volunteer opportunities that we had! I know there will be more opportunities for me at Chapman, too. I appreciate how this quote isn’t about receiving recognition for the “shade trees planted”, it’s just about the true spirit of why the trees are planted in the first place. To be enjoyed! 

Relating this quote back to our book yesterday, what if there was a mandatory volunteer component attached to middle and high schools? Even colleges? I think that would really help strengthen communities!

I love you more than all of the joy that comes from giving back!

Christine Is Getting A Shovel

"Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great."

JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER

TOM: We have heard from John D. before.

What I love about this quote is the idea that we have to give up, to go up. John Maxwell talks about success in the context of what you have to let go of, in order to get what you want. Or said even differently, to achieve something greater than what you are currently, you will have to stop doing some of the things you are currently doing. Sometimes I see it as sacrifice and sometimes I see it as priority. I know exercise is more of a sacrifice from doing more fun stuff, but if I don’t make the sacrifice to exercise, then I don’t get to do the real fun stuff I love.

Priority is more about my education and experiences. When I went back to grad school that was about priority and choosing those more impactful things versus more experience. More recently, it was the priority of doing things for the Kingdom versus for Tuthill. It is not as if one is bad, and the other is good. It is more about which one is more impactful given my larger goals.

I love you more than all the becomes possible when I choose wisely!

Choosing Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Hi dad!!!

Yes we are, we sure do know how to have fun!!! I hope your time with uncle Frank is going well :) we arrive in Portland late on Thursday night! Challenging to think we’ve been here a full week already.

I love the examples you gave! This makes me think of how easy it would have been to remain in the comfort zone and not embark on this journey with Angelica. I could have made a million excuses to stay home, yet I didn’t, and I’m having a wonderful time! I sure do miss Cam, but this experience has pushed my boundaries and growth much faster than possible if I stayed home.

I completely agree with your point about exercise. In the moment, it is “good” but it helps us get to the great!

I love you more than all of the ways we can choose to prioritize appropriately, even when it is tough to do!

Christine Is Recalibrating

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths."

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

TOM: Arnold is best known for his success in bodybuilding and as a movie star. He was also the governor of California!

Given who Arnold was I love the use of the word “strength” by him!!

I had not considered how winning does not make you stronger. I do believe that to be the case most of the time. And I do know that struggles and challenges do make me stronger when I embrace them.

I am curious about winning. Upon reflection, I do believe that it does provide a benefit. First, it sets a new “bar” or goal. When I have won, I have not gloated, but realized there was more to be won, and more than likely to beat the person I just beat, I would have to get better, knowing they would.

There is the bigger benefit of winning: to grow in humility, which I believe is a tremendous strength. Too many times, “winners” let it go to their heads, and if not realized, that is the beginning of their deterioration. I know I have been seduced several times, to think I was the “best of the best” to only realize, I was a “big fish in a small pond”, there were many others out there better than me.

I love you more than all the ways we can grow from our life’s experiences.

Strength finding father

CHRISTINE: Hey pops!

Man, I sure do believe in this!! Although I do think winning can make you stronger, especially when it provides you with motivation to tackle the next obstacle.

In terms of the struggle, I know it has caused growth for me personally, but it has been challenging to recognize that growth in the moment. It has usually occurred to me after the fact. Thinking of my previous few weeks, they have been tough but rewarding now that it’s over with.

Most great things require some form of hard work - think of our family! We did not get close by just sitting around. We have traveled, pushed through tough times, and you and mom have focused your energy in to how to continue our family growth, which is not an easy task!

I love you more than all of the ways our family is growing stronger!

Christine Is Excited For What’s To Come

"Who so loves believes the impossible."

ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING

TOM: Elizabeth Barrett Browning was an English poet of the Victorian era, popular in Britain and the United States during her lifetime.

This quote highlights the power of unwavering, unconditional love. When I am in that place, I do not think of constraints, or what can go wrong. I think of what’s next, I think of more grandiose things. Oxytocin, is called the chemical of love. It is in each of us and is released when we see or do acts of love/kindness. When it is released, our creativity improves; our immune system gets stronger; and our field of vision expands. Guess what happens when we are scared? Cortisol is released and the opposite occurs. So this quote is not just a quote, it is the way we are designed. We are designed to be in relationship creating the previously thought impossible!

I love you more than all that becomes possible when the Oxytocin is flowing!

Oxytocin Carmazzi

CHRISTINE: Good afternoon, pops!!

You love that oxytocin!!! This is good stuff, I think there is a lot to say about those who have open hearts and who can easily love - like you pointed out there are chemical reactions that take place in our brains/bodies when we love, and the same is true for when we are in a state of anger or fear. I know much more is possible for me when I’m in a state of love versus fear. When I’m fearful, all I can think about is that ONE thing. I’m not thinking big picture, or long term. And, as I’ve noticed, I can start to really believe some of those fears too, and almost work them into being.

I love you more than all of the ways we can open our hearts and allow the love to flow in!

Christine Is Wanting More Love

“There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in something you only do it when it’s convenient. When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

KEN BLANCHARD

TOM:

Kenneth Blanchard is an American author, business consultant and motivational speaker who has written more than 70 books, most of which were co-authored. His most successful book, The One Minute Manager, has sold more than 15 million copies and been translated into many languages. We have heard for Ken before!

What I love about this quote is the differentiation between two commonly used words. I know I have said and heard others say, they are “interested”. For me, that ranks with words like: Curious, fascinated, intrigued, ….. For me, all those are about further consideration, NOT action. AND more times that not, there is NO action because I dedicate the time to those items I am committed to! Imagine that.

Words that sound similar to “committed” are: will, act, do, promise, devoted. When I hear those words or say those words, I believe there will be something done. Less talking more doing. Also that folks will not go to victimhood when things get tough. They will persevere.

I love you more than all that occurs when I am committed.

Committed Carmazzi!

CHRISTINE:

Very wise words from Ken! I can’t imagine writing 70 books, or at least having the wisdom to fill those 70 books! I agree with you & Ken, similarly to interest vs commitment are hobbies vs passions. Hobbies CAN be passions, but hobbies are more easily picked up/put on the shelf for when you have time, where passions are something that you actively seek time to do/complete. Passions flow easily and naturally, where hobbies might be harder to adopt.

Great job picking out similar words to both, that sure does help put Ken’s into perspective!

I love you more than all of the ways I can commit to family and friends!

Christine Is Looking To Commit

"Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing."

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

TOM:

Ralph was a wise man who was quoted frequently!!

This quote makes a lot of sense in today’s world and yet Ralph died in 1882! I am always surprised by what folks experienced in the past. I tend to think today’s crazy environment is unique! Unfortunately, in many ways it is not.

What I love about this quote is it speaks to ways to truly be memorable; to truly be different than the rest. AND it is the right thing to do!! Don’t you just love when it all comes together!!

There is also a feeling of wellbeing to not be seduced by the temptations of the day. To not take the easy path of letting your emotions rule and spin the truth. I know in my daily dealings I love it when I can trust the person and not have to follow-up.

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we use our common sense and deal with honor.

Astonishing Carmazzi

CHRISTINE:

Oh wow - Ralph knocked it out of the park! My style of vendor relations in my last position was to always lead with respect and transparency. I can’t count the amount of times that vendors would tell me that they appreciated my communication style! It was a bit of a shock to hear that, because I knew that partnerships and deals could still be formed even when everyone walked away from the situation with a “win”, without bullying or gatekeeping information. I certainly do not like when people give me the runaround, so why would I do that to other people?!

Your comment about not allowing emotions to dictate your day is great - there were many days this week where I would feel completely overwhelmed and stressed, it made the days go by much slower, and I can honestly say I did not have much joy during those hours. Yesterday was the first day I decided to take things slow, calm my emotions, and push through. This was tough to do, even when I had some cleaning rework in our old apartment.. and when I broke two planter pots!

I love you more than all of the goodness that comes from being upfront!

Christine Is Speaking Common Sense

"The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it."

WILLIAM JAMES

TOM:

William James was an American philosopher and psychologist, and the first educator to offer a psychology course in the United States. James is considered to be a leading thinker of the late 19th century, one of the most influential philosophers of the United States, and the "Father of American psychology." Pretty heady guy! I love these quotes that are wise thoughts, said cleverly.

This quote helps me focus on what is important. His perspective is to spend it on those things that will outlive us. When I initially read this quote, I felt he was missing those things that were in the moment that will only last in this lifetime. And then I started to reflect on those things, like spending time with someone; and being very present. Granted it may not have an impact beyond that moment and yet I know of times that I had an impact that will outlast me. An example is a person I gave feedback to 20 years ago who is 13 years my junior and has gone on to impact hundreds if not thousands of lives that will continue well beyond my time above ground.

Then there is the more obvious example of the work we did yesterday on the Mission, Vision, and Values of the St Christophers church. Those efforts will outlast my life. Now here is a perspective that is not so uplifting to think about: those things I have done that will outlive me, that were not positive. I know I have some of those as well. My goal is to have less and less of those!!

I must admit I was not thinking of it in the manner James suggests and I love the challenge. Today is another day to do stuff that is much bigger than me AND I do believe that is why we are all here!

I love you more than all those things we do that will outlast our time on earth.

Time traveling Carmazzi

CHRISTINE:

Wow - how cool is this. One of my new years resolution was to say “yes” more. Granted, that’s pretty open ended… AND there isn’t a direct goal linked - for example, I have no way of measuring how many more “yes”s I’ve said in 2024, compared to 2023, but what I like to think is that the experiences, and the lives I’m impacting in 2024 will be greater than in 2023. I know this will be measured by the relationships that strengthen (if I’m successful) or the loneliness I might feel if I am unsuccessful.

The intent behind saying “yes” more, was to open my heart to experiences or people that I wouldn’t easily do so. I do believe that this intention parallels William James’ quote as well. The more time I am aware and present with those around me, the greater impact I will have once I am gone! I know you have done such an incredible job at pivoting your mindset away from figures and more to faces - although like you pointed out, some of those previous behaviors might outlive you, there are an exponential amount of GOOD previous behaviors that will be remembered even more.

I love you more than all of the ways we can leave a positive legacy on this planet!

Christine Is Wanting To Do More

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

HELEN KELLER

TOM:

Helen was such a wise person and yet she was very handicapped by our standards. Interestingly, I wonder if she was really given a gift, by having standard senses taken away? Hmmm…….

What I love about this quote is a couple of things: first are the words: “so long”. This means to me that I should feel the loss AND don’t become fixated on it. Second, are the words: “one which has been opened for us”. I do believe when one door closes, another opens. AND too many times, I am not looking, I have chosen to not look. There is that word again: “choice”.

I have so many more choices than I choose to make; and I forget that when I don’t make a choice I am still choosing. I am getting better about being intentional and this involves being very thoughtful about my choices, especially when I choose to not choose. Wow that is a lot of “c” words.

I love you more than all that becomes possible when we choose intentionally!

Intentional papa

CHRISTINE: hi pops!

Another busy day for me. Trying to stay present is the name of the game! Sorry to hear you've pushed your departure back, but I'm sure it'll feel good knowing you have one more day to prepare!

Oh gosh!!! How great is this. Yes - there are no "checkpoints" in life to tell you "HEY! this is a monumental moment! Slow down and appreciate it!". If only those did exist...

Let's just think of a recent event that happened in OUR lives... this book! I love how yesterday you mentioned you're already thinking about writing the next one.. You've already left the closed door and you're looking to the open door! How cool are you! Let's just take a moment and reflect on the hard work that got us through THIS book, and how special it has been. We sure did come a long way, and grew even closer!

I love you more than all of the ways we can appreciate the past, present, and future!

Christine Is Staying Put

"People do not decide to become extraordinary. They decide to accomplish extraordinary things."

EDMUND HILLARY

TOM: Sir Edmund Hillary was a New Zealand mountaineer, explorer, and philanthropist. On 29 May 1953, Hillary and Sherpa mountaineer Tenzing Norgay became the first climbers confirmed to have reached the summit of Mount Everest. We used to have a tent named after him. I doubt it was really his type of tent since it was a high dome tent!!

What I love about this quote is it highlights the importance of a goal. I believe all great things start with a purpose or target – Where do I want to go; what do I want to accomplish. Even if I say I want to become “extraordinary” that has to be in the context of something. For example, if I said I wanted to be extraordinary in living into my values I would have to finish that sentence. I want to be extraordinary in living into my values, “so that I can be a good father”; “so that I can be a business leader”; “so that I model Christ”; “so that……”

That is why it is very important to be wise on goal selection. If they are too narrow or self-centered, chances are the behaviors will be limited as well. Honorable goals create honorable behaviors.

I love you more than all the becomes possible when we choose heartfelt holistic goals

Honorable goal seeking papa

CHRISTINE: HAHA! You are right! I never put two and two together that our old tent was named after him.. WOW! I bet he's rolling in his grave knowing that a summer tent was named after him!

I like how you put a purpose or statement behind wanting to be excellent/accomplish extraordinary things. It is quite rare that great things happen to me without some type of effort I've been putting towards a goal behind the scenes! I'm sure there were many times that Ed had to work his behind off, and push through pain and fear in order to get to that stage of excellence.

More and more colleagues are finding out about my departure. When I tell them that I had a positive interview/application process, and that I've chosen Chapman, everyone says how excited and not-surprised they are that I am moving on to improve myself. It has been a heartfelt week! I know that if I stayed at Wyld, I wouldn't accomplish nearly half the things I want to. Here's to following in Ed's footsteps!

I love you more than all of the ways we can step forward, one foot at a time!

Christine is Focusing on Left Left Left Right Left

"Challenge yourself; it’s the only path which leads to growth."

MORGAN FREEMAN

TOM: I am a big Morgan Freeman fan. He tends to play the wise man in his films. He even played God in a film.

What I love about this quote is that it is something that has been mentioned before in our QoD’s and it is one of our family values: “growth”. This quote reminds me that growth comes in many forms; it can be the big stuff like a new job; or going back to school; or getting married; or learning a new skill or language. It can also be the little stuff done daily. Things like reading daily devotions and looking for the growth; going to lunch/breakfast with someone you have not met; going into the city to see a musical; going to a new place to eat and trying something different; it can be setting a time to do a task versus just doing it whenever; …... All these little challenges take us to a new experience; a new learning; a new opportunity for growth.

I love you more than all the challenges before us, either intentionally or unintentionally, that help us grow.

Growing daddy

CHRISTINE: hey poppy! TGIF is right!!

You got that right - growth can show itself in so many forms. I think as long as there is some level of discomfort, growth can occur! I was even talking to Cam on our vacation if he ever considered traveling extensively alone. He asked why - and I just said that traveling is already uncomfortable, even with friends/family.. it would be quite the undertaking to do all of that alone! I'm sure a lot of growth would come from that! He ultimately agreed, but we both decided that we would much rather share the experiences TOGETHER versus going alone anytime soon. We are happy with the growth that comes from traveling TOGETHER!

I love you more than all of the ways we can challenge ourselves to improve!

xoxo!

Christine is Focusing on Improvement